The beginning of my religious lifestyle change.

I have spent the majority of my life knowing that there was someone up above but just not believing it. I always knew that something was there and that something was watching us. However, I am a scientific person and I want proof. Do I fully believe that there is only ONE being that ultimately watches over us, not fully but I am becoming more and more aware.

I have always been paired with someone who was a nonbeliever so it made it easy for me to not pay attention to the signs that were always in front of me. Well, now I have an amazing man in my life who really makes me feel like I belong, like there is something that brought us together.

He recently wanted to start reading the bible together. I was kind of silent when he brought it up. I just did not know what to say, I mean the last time that I looked at the bible was a very long time ago and I did not understand the writing at all. I mean the old old style English made it very hard to follow. He told me about this New International Version (NIV for short) and that I would be able to understand it.

We sat down together and let me be very honest with you, I felt pretty stupid. I had no idea what he was talking about when he is reading to me the generations to the birth of Christ. I kind of felt like I did not belong in the reading session we were having.   Now let me back up a few years ago. I have been saved and I have accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior, but that was a long time ago and after living this lifestyle of disbelief and the image that I have put out I just did not know how to act.

I get chills when things happen, I see and hear things that most people can not, and when we were reading the bible together - it felt real to me. Now I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing, but I am going to take it as a good thing and a good sign. See I have two young boys and I want them to be given the world and be able to have the best possible upkeep that I can give them - and true morals and understanding of self is involved in that.

All in all I want to say this, with things going the way that they are going in the world these days, I think everyone needs to step back - take a good look at themselves and accept Jesus into their lives. Whether it be the one I believe in or the one you believe in - in the end we all go to the same place.